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GERMANY, YOU STUPID 🤦 

Drum roll, please... 🥁🥁🥁

...and this week's stupid award goes to...Germany! 🇩🇪

It’s official now: the sauerkraut gang just got rid of all their 50,000 Bitcoin.

That’s right: you now own more Bitcoin than Germany 🎉

Talk about a bratwurst of a blunder. A colossal L for Germany.

Because this Bitcoin was confiscated from an illegal movie streaming website, the German government was required to sell it by law.

Here's a wild idea: maybe change those dumb laws? Especially when they're costing you big time.

Because Germany (4th largest economy in the world and an industrial powerhouse) sure looks like it needs it 👇

Here’s a wild stat: the $2.2 billion they made from selling the 50,000 Bitcoin isn’t enough to cover 20 days’ interest payments on their national debt. 🤡

Talk about missing the forest for the trees. This move is going to bite Germany in the schnitzel later.

And when it does, I'll be here, popcorn in hand, ready to make fun of them. 🫡

WHAT IF YOU LOST ALL YOUR BITCOIN?

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UFC FIGHTER SCAMS HIS FANS 🥊

Scams.

Scams, everywhere…

This one involves an MMA superstar, Khamzat Chimaev, and his $SMASH token.

Spoiler alert: it turned out to be more of a "CRASH" token.

He posted this video (now deleted) to promote the meme token.

24 hours later, the $SMASH token “investors” woke up to this:

94% of the token’s value was wiped out overnight. Poof. Gone. Like a fart in the wind.

Here’s a timeline of the dumpster fire:

1. Khamzat and his team whip up $SMASH

2. 24 wallets snatch up 71% of the entire $SMASH supply

3. Khamzat announces $SMASH on Social X/Twitter, which immediately pumps the price

4. $SMASH nosedives 18% in 1 hour

5. Khamzat deletes his endorsement tweet like it’s a bad Tinder message

A classic pump and dump. It's almost like he followed a "How to Scam 101" playbook.

Of course, this sparked outrage among Khamzat’s fans, and many blamed him for scamming them.

The SMASH team’s response?

“We never sold a single token!”

But the internet detectives did some digging and discovered that this was BS. 💩

ZachXBT quickly found the wallet that dumped massive amounts of $SMASH and linked them back to Khamzat and his merry band of scammers.

Imagine being rich and still scamming your fans.

What’s the lesson here? DON’T BUY CELEBRITY CRYPTO PROJECTS.

Celebrities are just looking for a quick buck. Your buck.

THIS IS THE WORST-PERFORMING BITCOIN CYCLE (SO FAR)

Psst...kid, wanna see some chart porn? I got you 🤝

You know how Bitcoin bull markets follow the 4-year halving cycles (every 210,000 blocks)? It's like a predictable midlife crisis.

Well, it looks like the current halving cycle (orange line) is shaping up to be the worst-performing one yet. Check this out:

“I knew it! Bitcoin returns are becoming crap!!1”

Well, yes, but also no.

Here are a few reasons this halving cycle is “underperforming”:

2/ This is the first cycle in Bitcoin history when we had an all-time high BEFORE the halving.

That’s why post-halving performance is down compared to previous cycles 🤓

It’s kind of like getting dessert before dinner and then wondering why the main course seems meh.

2/ What you see here is just a blip in the larger picture 👇

Should you be worried?

No.

Relax. It’s just Bitcoin being Bitcoin, throwing us a curveball for the fun of it.

Every cycle has its ups and downs.

But what I know for certain is that in 15 years:

1. More people want Bitcoin

2. More Dollars will be printed

3. Bitcoin supply is still 21 Million

Stay calm and keep stacking those sats.

That’s it for this one—big thanks to Stamp Seed who allow us to write Bitcoin Therapy. You support us by supporting them ❤️

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See you next Sunday,

Arsen