🧠 We've reached peak stupidity

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GM - Arsen here. ☕

Welcome back to Bitcoin Therapy. We’re like jelly to your peanut butter sandwich - it just feels wrong without us.

First, happy and relaxing Sunday to 2,938 patients reading today. 👋 

As you can see, I’ve switched to a white background. Some of you told me your email apps show black font + black background, which makes it unreadable.

This should fix it. 🤝

Alright, here’s what I got for you this week:

  • Bitcoin will evaporate the world’s oceans by 2025

  • A new decentralized mining pool launches and…starts blocking transactions

  • A living legend joined Twitter/X

Estimated read time: 3 minutes and 31 seconds

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EVERY TIME YOU USE BITCOIN, A SWIMMING POOL DIES

🚨NEW FUD ALERT! NEW FUD ALERT! 🚨

Are you ready for it?

Bitcoin uses too much…water?

Lmao.

The claim: One Bitcoin transaction uses 16,000 liters of clean water - enough to fill a small swimming pool.

The culprit? Those nasty Bitcoin miners who use water to cool down their machines.

Alright. Pack it up, boys.

We almost made it. We almost reached hyperbitcoinzation, but the world's water evaporated first, and we all died 🪦

I can already hear the screeching: “Where are the regulators??? Why are they not regulating water evaporation??? Oceans need permits to evaporate H20!!!”

Jokes aside, this FUD is dumb on so many levels.

The FUD claims Bitcoin miners “use” water to cool miners.

Well, let me tell you about a technology that fixes this: Rain

The water that is evaporated during the cooling process comes down as rain. Mindblowing, I know.

So, who is behind the absolute brain fart of a FUD? A guy called Alex De Vries (reads as ‘cries’).

If you’ve been around for a few halving cycles, you’ll know Alex as the mastermind of some of the dumbest Bitcoin FUD campaigns.

And this is one is no exception:

Virgin Alex de Vries, PhD candidate: “Bitcoin burns through hundreds of swimming pools of water daily.”

My 3rd grade Chad teacher:

Imagine having a PhD degree and now knowing how rain works. Lmao.

Inb4 mainstream media headlines “Bitcoin causes too much rain!!1.”

Anyways. Bitcoin water FUD: DEBUNKED

Alex De Cries and Co will have to find something else to cry about.

EDUCATION, EDUCATION AND MORE EDUCATION

That’s the key to Bitcoin adoption. As you might’ve noticed, education is essential to me. I always try to have a good mix of humor and knowledge.

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BITCOIN MINERS ARE CENSORING TRANSACTIONS

On the topic of pools, the drama continues…

I’m talking about the launch of OCEAN - a decentralized mining pool created by Bitcoin Core developer Luke Dash Jr and backed by billionaire Jack Dorsey.

The promise? Make the Bitcoin network radically more decentralized and robust.

Because traditional mining pools are trusted third parties (and that’s a no-go in Bitcoin):

  1. Individual miners rely on pools to activate soft forks

  2. The pool decides which transactions get accepted in the newly mined blocks (censorship alert!)

  3. The pools custody all freshly generated coins

So, what’s the drama?

Well, OCEAN launched publicly preaching censorship resistance….by censoring transactions.

And to be specific, they censor ordinals (I wrote about them here). This is possible by "ordisrespector" patch, which filters ordinals.

This is the brainchild of Luke Dash Jr. Luke hates JPEGS so much that he wakes up every night because of nightmares where dickbutts chase him.

This new mining pool has divided the Bitcoin community into two camps:

  1. “It’s not censorship. It’s called filtering spam!”

  2. “As long as transactions are valid and pay fees, they’re good.”

Now, I know nuance is hard, but I will attempt it. Two opposing things CAN be simultaneously true.

My take: As long as transactions are valid and pay fees, they’re good BUT private entities are free to label a type of transaction as “spam” and not process it. This is NOT the same as targeting and censoring individual transactions.

Whew.

My body is ready to be crucified by both sides ✝️

Anyways. Like always, the free market will decide.

Mining in a pool that filters part of transactions will cost you money. On the other side, there will be ideologically aligned miners who will point their hashrate to OCEAN.

What do YOU think? Do ordinals belong on Bitcoin (and in your mempool)?

Fun fact: In 2013, Luke Dash Jr used to embed prayers and bible verses on the Bitcoin blockchain

Looks like Luke was the OG spammer 🤣

A LIVING LEGEND APPEARS ON TWITTER

It was 4.23 pm. A good ol’ Tuesday.

I was sitting on the toilet scrolling Bitcoin Twitter (like one usually does) and was about to close the app… when I saw IT.

*a wild wei dai appears on TL*

No, We Dai is not a beef dumpling at your local Chinese restaurant.

We Dai is an OG cryptographer and the peak form of the cypherpunk idealogy.

And on Tuesday, he blessed us mere mortals with his presence:

Here’s his humble CV:

  • Created B-money - the predecessor to Bitcoin

  • Referenced on the Bitcoin Whitepaper

  • He was one of the first people Satoshi contacted when we wrote the Bitcoin Whitepaper (Hal Finney was the other one).

In fact, Wei is such a baller he left Satoshi on read and never bothered to reply. Lol.

And just after a few hours on Twitter, Wei already completed his Bitcoiner initiation:

  1. Get blocked by someone

  2. Said Craig Wright is not Satoshi

Legend.

Anyways, Welcome to Twitter, Sato…I mean Wei.

Now, you just need to subscribe to Bitcoin Therapy, and you are good to go. 🤝

QUICK NEWS⚡

  • Bitcoin hodlers in profit reached an ATH of 83% – the highest level since November 2021

  • November in crypto hacks: $343M lost - up 15x from October

  • Cristiano Ronaldo sued for shilling Binance. Siuuuuuuu!

  • You can earn 2,000 sats by leaving Bitcoin Therapy a review

THIS WEEK IN A MEME 📅

FROM THE ARCHIVE 📁

RIP, Legend.

Sauce: @pete_rizzo_

PATIENT REVIEW 🧠

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See you next Sunday,

Bitcoin Therapy Team

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