🧠 Smells like insider trading

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GM frens - Arsen here.

Welcome back to Bitcoin Therapy. We’re like your Bitcoin butler - bringing you the best Bitcoin bits on a silver platter

First, happy and relaxing Sunday to 2,651 patients reading today. 👋 

I’m watching my colleagues at Relai have fun at Lugano’s Plan B. I couldn’t make it. Yes, I’m salty. Also, I’m allergic af. My current sneezing tempo is 2 sneezes per 1 Bitcoin Therapy sentence.

Here’s what I got for you this week:

  • Fake ETF news sends Bitcoin ballistic

  • The world’s most expensive object is used to mine Bitcoin

  • 3 bullish indicators to watch

Estimated read time: 2 minutes and 58 seconds

FAKE ETF NEWS SENDS BITCOIN BALLISTIC

BREAKING: JOURNALISM

What happened?

  1. On Monday morning, Cointelegraph posted on X that a Blackrock Bitcoin ETF had been approved

  2. This caused a wave of “WAGMI” screams, followed by the Bitcoin price rocketing to $30,000

The issue? This turned out to be false news. Falsch. Faux. Falsa.

And Cointegraph’s response? “Oopsie.”

But we have to give credit where credit is due: Cointelegraph added "reportedly" after a few hours to the ETF approval tweet…

….right after it generated $35b in volume and $115m liquidations. RIP traders.

So how did Cointelegraph make such an unprofessional mistake?

A popular theory is that this was the social media intern’s genius retirement plan:

  1. Tweet “Bitcoin ETF approved”

  2. Bitcoin pumps to $30,000

  3. Go all in 100x long on Bitcoin

  4. Profit shitton of $$$

  5. Get fired 👇

Anyways, Cointelegraph published an apology article where they proclaimed to have “high standards” and explained what actually happened.

And it’s equally bad, if not worse. Turns out the source was some random stoned Pepe profile picture in a telegram chat. Lol.

To make things worse for the poor social media intern, the Telegram anon deleted their account immediately. Sus..

TLDR:

Employee #2 do you have a source?

Employee #1:

Moral of the story: Don’t trust headlines you see on social media. It’s like everyone is playing the ‘floor is lava’ game, and the sources are the lava

SELF CUSTODY IS HARD = FALSE

Let me ask you a few questions:

  1. Do you think your Bitcoin setup is secure enough?

  2. Do your loved ones know how to access your Bitcoin if something happens to you?

  3. Are you using Bitcoin without being surveilled by third parties?

If you struggle with these questions, you’re not alone. I’ve been there.

I’ve made lots of mistakes when I first discovered Bitcoin in 2017. I’ve sent BTC to the wrong addresses, overpaid in transaction fees, and sometimes didn’t back up my wallet (RIP sats).

This is because there was no one to guide me. But that’s not the case today. Meet The Bitcoin Way - your Bitcoin IT team

These Chads offer personalized, secure, and comprehensive solutions for every aspect of your Bitcoin journey (they’ve thought of everything):

  1. Wallet & node setup

  2. Individuals & Businesses

  3. Inheritance planning

  4. Privacy-focused collaborative custody

  5. Fast and reliable tech support

They’re rated 4.9/5.0 on Apollo. So yeah, they’re legit.

Schedule a free 30-minute call today 👇

THE ‘WORLD’S MOST EXPENSIVE OBJECT’ IS USED TO MINE BITCOIN

Dam(n), son.

Those crazy bitcoiners…They will use ANYTHING to mine their precious little coins

Next victim: Itaipu Dam

Here are the details:

  • It’s a hydroelectric dam

  • Located between Brazil and Paraguay

  • Cost $27B to build

  • Titled ‘the most expensive object on earth’ (right after your mom)

  • The Bitcoin miners will be powered by surplus power from the dam

The Bitcoin mining facility inside is operated by Sazmining. Their vision: make Paraguary "the new Texas" for Bitcoin miners.

Sooo… gun-loving salsa-dancing Latino rednecks? Sign me up!

Anyways, here’s what the Itaipu dam looks like:

Inb4 “Bitcoin is killing beavers!!!11” narrative from mainstream media.

No, I don’t know how to pronounce ‘Itaipu.’ Yes, this is bullish for both Bitcoin AND Paraguay.

Here’s why: The surplus energy will be used instead of being wasted —> The dam earns an additional $$$ —> Sazmining gets cheap and clean energy

Win-win.

3 BULLISH INDICATORS TO WATCH

There’s no denying it - we’re in the depths of the bear market.

At this point, only the real ones are left. So if you’re reading this, you’re a f*cking legend.

And with that being said, here are 3 bullish numbers you need to watch:

1/ Bitcoin dominance at a 2-year ATH

Bitcoin is king. We all know that. And this is exactly what the data shows too: Bitcoin dominance went from 40% —> 52% in one year.

For you nerds out there, you get this number by dividing BTC’s market cap by the top 125 sh*tcoins and multiplying by 100.

And for that one ex-are-pee army member who’s reading, XRP is at a whopping 2.57% dominance!

2/ Bitcoin hash rate hits an ATH (again)

  • Bitcoin hash rate hits a 61 trillion difficulty

  • This is 456 EH/s (exahash per second)

  • This is a ~70% increase year-over-year and a ~175% increase from the price ATH

Remember: price doesn’t matter. As long as Bitcoin keeps producing a new block every 10 minutes, we good.

Tick tock, next block.

3/ Long-term hodlers own ~75% of the Bitcoin supply

  • This is an ATH since 2015

  • These hodlers have greatly increased their Bitcoin stacks since mid-2021 (no need to thank me)

Here’s what this means for you: Less supply —> more people are bidding for the same coins —> your bags pump

QUICK LINKS ⚡

  • Ethereum co-founder Joe Lubin scammed his ex-employees

  • Relai integrates lightning (I’m super proud of this). Sign up for the beta.

  • Stablecoins on Bitcoin? This is now possible thanks to a new protocol - Taproot assets 

THIS WEEK IN A MEME 📅

FROM THE ARCHIVE 📁

F*ck bears.

PATIENT REVIEW 🧠

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See you next Sunday,

Bitcoin Therapy Team

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