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It’s Arsen, bringing you the 15th edition of TLDR Bitcoin - the newsletter that keeps you informed AND entertained.

First, happy Sunday to 1,544 of you reading today.

Last week I did a little giveaway to celebrate hitting 1,500 subs. The winners have been chosen and notified. You know who you are.

This week’s email is a bit longer than usual, but I promise it’s worth it :)

Ready to watch the world burn? Good. Let’s get into it.

Here’s what I got for you this week:

• It’s official: The banking crisis is now worse than in 2008

• RIP U.S. miners: Biden proposes a 30% tax

• Bhutan has been secretly mining Bitcoin for years

Estimated read time: 5 minutes and 4 seconds

THE BANKING CRISIS IS OFFICIALLY WORSE THAN IN 2008

Another day, another bank failure.

At this point, nobody bats an eye when a bank goes down. And, of course, the mainstream media isn’t talking about it either.

But this is why you’re subscribed to TLDR Bitcoin: so I can lay out the facts in front of you like Skittles for you to conveniently consume (if you like grape Skittles, please unsubscribe).

Here’s what we know:

First Republic, the second-largest bank in the U.S., just failed.

This is serious stuff. The banking crisis is not over. If anything, it’s only accelerating. To make the point even clearer, 3 out of 4 largest bank failures occurred in the last 2 months:

1. Washington Mutual ($386 B) - September 2008

2. First Republic ($233 B) -  May 2023

3. Silicon Valley Bank ($209 B) - March 2023

4. Signature Bank ($118 B) - March 2023

Source: @mbostock/ @TheBTCTherapist

The First Republic collapse was special because of all the help it got:

1. $63.5 B via the Fed discount window

2. $13.8 B from Bank Term Funding Program

3. $28 B from the Federal Home Loan Bank

Aaaand it still died - despite all the help it received from other big banks and the government. But who could’ve predicted this? Well, everyone, actually.

After all, the mother of all counter indicators, Jim Cramer, was on air saying that “The collapse of First Republic bank could mark the end of the banking crisis”

So…yeah.

Everything is pointing to more pain in the legacy markets. But people are in denial. In 2008 the signs were there too. Too bad nobody paid attention.

Well, this is a similar kind of situation - only bigger. The financial system is still fundamentally broken. The difference is that now it’s even more fragile and over-leveraged. And again, nobody’s paying attention (except you, of course 🤝).

The trust in banks is eroding, slowly but surely. This powerful message was spotted in front of First Republic HQ (this is the work of our friend Cryptograffiti).

The message could not be more relevant today:

1. We are entering the biggest banking crisis of all time

2. Bitcoin has reached an ATH in transaction settlement this week

3. Bitcoin’s hashrate and security are at an ATH

Oh, and the halving is coming, too. We’ll talk about that in another email :)

TLDR: expect more bank runs, anon.

The good part? You can now become a professional bankruptcy bingo player.

RIP U.S. MINERS: BIDEN PROPOSES A 30% TAX

Old man yelling at clouds is back!

This time, he’s yelling at small computers with fans. ‘Sleepy Joe’ Biden, the mastermind behind this brainfart, has included a 30% tax on Bitcoin mining energy consumption in the 2024 budget proposal.

The reason? Climate protection.

But is that the whole story? Well, lucky for you, I brought my bullshit detector with me. Here’s what it says:

According to some reputable sources (trust me, bro), climate protection has nothing to do with the new tax.

In reality: climate protection = protection of privileges of the small ruling elite. We call them the ‘Cantillionaires’ where I’m from.

They’re anti-bitcoin because it undermines their power.

They don’t want you to control your own money.

They want you to depend on them.

Not going to sugarcoat it: this tax would be bad. Like real bad. In fact, it would be a defacto ban on Bitcoin mining - a 30% tax would simply make mining unprofitable.

Sigh…looks like 'Merica is continuing its decline.

But wait! There’s a small glimmer of hope. The Presidential candidate Robert Kennedy (the nephew of JFK):

Absolutely correct, Robert.

Some developing countries are already capitalizing (see news below) on Bitcoin. They will reap the benefits of being friendly to the emerging Bitcoin economy. Think about it: Who would win this fight?

🔴 In the red corner, we have….El Salvador 🇸🇻

• Led by a charismatic young leader

• Adopted Bitcoin as a legal tender

• Eliminated all taxes on technology innovations

• Its name directly translates to ‘Savior’ 

• Has pupusas

🔵 In the blue corner, we have….America 🇺🇸

• Led by a president who doesn’t know where he is half the time

• Proposing a 30% tax on Bitcoin mining

• Home of the congressman Brad Sherman (and the owner of the worst haircut in Congress) calling every Bitcoiner a ‘tax evader’ while his banking system is imploding

• Has 37 distinct Doritos flavors

I know which fighter I’m betting on. What about you?

The reality is that regulating Bitcoin miners will just push them out to other, more friendly jurisdictions. Don’t believe me? Take a look at China…

Credit: @gregzaj1

If you’re feeling generous (and a little entertained), why not share TLDR with a bitcoiner 👇

BHUTAN VIRGINS = CHADS

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a firefighter. Today, I want to be a Buddhist monk from Bhutan.

Let me explain: the Himalayan Buddhist kingdom of Bhutan (now how cool does that sound?) has been secretly mining Bitcoin for several years using excess hydropower (America, take notes).

Here’s what we know:

1. The tiny kingdom in Eastern Himalayas spent 5% of its GDP on buying Bitcoin miners

2. The Chads over in Bhutan seek to raise $500 million to develop their mining infra further

3. These funds are provided by our old friend Jihan ‘f*ck your mother if you want f*ck’ Wu. The guy that tried to overtake the Bitcoin network by colluding with big Bitcoin miners? Yup, that guy.

4. Bhutan allegedly has held Bitcoin since $5,000. Some of you could learn a thing or two about hodling from our celibate friends…

Alright, enough about virgins. According to energy and bitcoin mining expert Daniel Batten, the small kingdom controls approximately ≈ 100MW. This equals a bit less than 1% of the global hash rate. That’s A LOT of a tiny nation like Bhutan.

While the U.S. and the West are implementing 30% taxes on bitcoin mining to “save the planet," little Bhutan over here has become the first-ever carbon-negative county (aka it removes more CO2 than it produces), and it’s STILL expanding its mining ops.

“bUt IT’s oNlY a sMalL cOunTrY!!1”

Shut up, Becky.

This is significant because it shows that other small countries probably do similar things behind closed doors: Who else is acquiring Bitcoin?

We only know of Bhutan because their sovereign wealth fund was a creditor in the Blockfi bankruptcy, revealing this information.

And next time your no-coiner friend cries about Bitcoin mining consuming too much energy, just send them this picture of a Buddhist monk flipping a bird.

Credit: @wojakbitcoin

Anyways, how do I become a citizen of Bhutan? I’m already a virgin and open to Buddhism.

This week in a meme

Credit: @TheBTCTherapist

Job of the week

The nerds at Zebedee are looking for another kind of nerd: Performance Marketing Manager.

If the words CRO, targeting, bidding, ROI, and paid acquisition mean anything to you, take a look at this gig.

From the archive

This stick figure drawing sold for 30 BTC 12 years ago.

Somewhere out there is one very happy bitcoiner and one very mad one.

Credit: @pete_rizzo_

That’s it for this one.

If you like what you read, please do “add to address book” or reply to this to this email (it helps with email deliverability). If you don’t, you can unsubscribe below.

See you next Sunday,

Arsen

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